Sunday, December 22, 2013

The Carpenter's Son


It's the Christmas season, and I've been feeling festive for a few weeks. I owe that to my participation in Charles Dickens' play "A Christmas Carol". Everyone knows the story. Scrooge has a change of heart, and comes to understand the joy of the season. He embraces giving, but also embraces the power of redemption. 

Today at church my thoughts were directed to the Savior Jesus. He came into this world in the lowliest of conditions, without any kind of glory. But the life he lived, and the love he offers us is truly a kind of brilliant glory.

My thoughts turned to Christ's earthly profession. Jesus was a carpenter by profession, and in his spiritual mission. In biblical times carpenters used crude saws and other tools to do highly physical, demanding, dirty work. 

These people were highly skilled and trained, and they not only built things, but they fixed things that needed mending. ALL broken things. Broken wheels, tables, and yokes were taken to the carpenters to be fixed. These broken things REQUIRED mending in order to function properly again. Lives momentarily halted, or were more difficult without this mending. 

Jesus does the same thing with our lives, our spirits, our relationships, and our hearts. In order for any of the above to work properly, or even work with less effort and strife, it requires completion. Christ knows and uses the correct methods and skill to make us whole again when we fall apart. 

At this time last year I was falling apart. I should have realized what plan of action would be the best for me. I should have given into the loving comfort of the Spirit of the Lord instead of curling up in my bed as a sobbing mess of anger and disappointment for the trials I had to pass through and endure. The pain felt too overwhelming, and the grief engulfed me. (Though, if I had been able to see into the future, I would have seen a glimpse of the beautiful opportunities coming my way. A couple weeks after Christmas I started dating Grant, who has been one of the greatest Christmas gifts, and blessings, I've ever been given.) 

While men can toss their promises aside for the things of moment, the Lord's promises and love are eternal and sure. His love and peace are all encompassing and unconditional. 

The Lord is truly the master carpenter. His teachings can heal you, and heal those you love.  I believe in Him, and know that things can be made right. If things are supposed to work out, they'll find a way to work. During this Christmas season, I challenge you to step back, assess your life, and find His peace. 

Remember, each of us is an Innkeeper. It is up to us to decide if we have room in our lives for Christ. Let him in. Carry the true meaning of Christmas in your heart, and know that everything is made whole, and beautiful in the Lord's time. 

Psalms 34:18 "The Lord is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart...." 

Sunday, December 1, 2013

Wedding/Special Event Make Up Do's and Dont's


I’ve been getting a few (okay, more than a few) requests for me to go over what to do if you decide to do your own wedding make up. Personally, I didn’t let anyone do my make up on my big day, because NO ONE knows my face like I do. Even though I’m a make up PRO, it was still a daunting task. (I promise I’m not indecisive about every detail… or am I?) Anyways, I’m a make up junkie AND a photographer, so I know where to go with this.
I’ll go over it, bit by bit, so pay attention and try not to fall asleep during this lengthy novel.

Step 1: Moisturize Ahead of Time
As soon as you wake up on your wedding day, slather on that moisturizer goodness. Whether you use something cheap, or something pricey, don’t skip this step. (Avoid moisturizing your eyelids though, any extra moisture there can lead to creasing. Especially if you sweat!) I have very sensitive, dry as the Sahara, skin, so I personally use a moisturizer by Simple. If you have naturally oily skin, make sure you use a mattifying or oil fee moisturizer.

Step 2: Practice ahead of time.
Don’t show up on your wedding day and think you’ll get it right. Find a look, colors, and do-ability that fits your face shape and skill level. YouTube has MANY glorious beauty gurus who will walk you through step by step how to do certain looks. If you want something light and fresh, type in “light wedding make up” or “make up for blue eyes”. If you have a beauty icon you want to try emulating type it in! (I love to watch Adele tutorials myself.) Many of these beauty gurus use expensive make up brands, be sure to research dupes. For example, if she says she’s using “Mac Twig” go ahead and Google “MAC Twig dupes” to find cheaper , but very similar, colors. Like a certain lip color? Google a dupe for it and go get it shamelessly for 5 bucks versus 16. There’s no shame in it.
Practice with fake eyelashes too… they can be daunting, but once you get it right, they’re easy peasy lemon squeezy.

Step 3: Prime and Prep
Don’t skip this step either. Use a good face primer before you get started, after moisturizing. My personal favorite is CHEAP, and contains all the same ingredients as expensive brands like Too Faced and Smashbox. What is it? Monistat Chafing Gel… read my previous posts to hear all about me singing its praises. If you want an alternative, NYX has a fabulous primer called Pore Filler for 6-7 dollars. If you’re into investing, Make Up Forever is where it’s at when it comes to high end primers. Make sure you let your face primer dry a bit.
Prime your eyes! Ever wonder how all those Pinterest eyeshadow looks look better than yours? Primer girl, primer. Primer gives your eyeshadow a base to stick to. The secret is NOT to over do it. Just a dab will do ya! I get my Too Faced Shadow Insurance on Ebay shipped for about 9 dollars. If you want another alternative, NYX jumbo eye pencil in “milk” is fabulous too… (NYX “Milk” is also a better choice for you ladies who have oily or sweaty lids, well, like me.) Other budget friendly eye primers are Wet N Wild Fergie primer, and ELF. (Though, I personally don’t really like ELF primer.) If you want to splurge, MAC Painterly Paint Pot is pretty magnificent. Another favorite is Urban Decay’s Primer Potion… but it tends to dry REALLY fast. Spread it in a very thin, even layer, but start applying eyeshadow BEFORE it’s dry.

Step 4: Eyes First
One of the BIGGEST MISTAKES women make is doing their foundation first, before eyeshadow application. Do your eyes first. Why? When working with colors you sometimes get eyeshadow “fall out”. Fall out is when the product gets under your eyes and when you try to get rid of it, it smudges. Fall out can RUIN the hard work you put into your foundation.
Don’t try and research what color will look good with your eye color. Usually it’s wrong. Try stuff on yourself to find what works. For example, my eyes are bluey-greeny-greyish… which technically purples are what I “should” wear. BUT, I find my eyes stand out most with pinks, browns, and silvers. Just be sure you don’t try and wear a color on your eyes that is from the same color family as your eye color, unless it’s MUCH lighter or MUCH darker than your eye color shade. It can compete with it! I recommend lining your eyes with a waterproof liquid or gel liner. I recommend Kat Von D Tattoo Liner! It’s my FAVORITE. Wedding days equals tears, so waterproof is a must. When Im not using Kat Von D liner, I’m using a gel liner by Rimmel London.
Find inspiration! Pinterest, Google, Youtube, and Facebook are LOADED with ideas. Don’t be afraid to practice.
Invest in a palette. My favorite for nude/natural/ light make up is the Urband Decay Naked palette for 52 dollars, or a little more budget friendly is the Nude’Tude palette from the Balm for 40 dollars. Think that’s too much? Break it down. You’re getting MANY high end, amazingly pigmented, eyeshadows for one price. It’s worth it when you do the break down. I also love pigment eyeshadows. You can buy “samples” from many companies such as Dark Heart Designs, StarCrushed Minerals, Pretty Addictions, Pretty Zombie Cosmetics, and Mon Ennui cosmetics for about 1-5 dollars each. I recommend going to an Ulta or Sephora if you’re non committal like me, and like to see what it looks like before you buy it.
Also, do NOT line your water line. Smudge a dark eyeshadow below your lower lashline. It’s softer, and will look MUCH better in pictures.

Step 5: Your face!
Yes, foundation matters. If you have dry skin, avoid powder foundations such as BareMinerals and opt for a moisturizing foundation like Kat Von D Tattoo Foundation or Sephora Instant Radiance foundation. If you have oilier skin, Kat Von D or Tarte Amazonian Clay foundation will suit you well. Yes, foundation is expensive, but it will last you MONTHS.
I’m not a fan of drug store foundation, but if that’s all you can buy, I recommend Revlon PhotoReady because it’s free of silicone which can reflect WHITE in your pictures… and who want’s to be pasty in their wedding pictures? I would also recommend buying a beauty blender sponge to apply foundation. Get it a little wet, and it will give you an airbrushed finish. I got mine at TJ Maxx for a whole 3 dollars.
I would use Rimmel Stay Matte to set ANYTHING you put on your face. It will add a touch of extra coverage, and make sure your foundation stays in place. I also really love True Match by L’Oreal and Aqua Stay by Revlon.
Conceal, CONCEAL, CONCEAL. Dab on under eye concealer with the beauty blender so you don’t have under eye circles. Set it with your powder.

Step 6: Contour… if you can.
This is a step you can skip if you don’t wear much make up. BUT, contouring makes such a huge difference in your face, nose, and chin shape. If you have a bit of a double chin, or if you think you do, you can add a matte bronzer to tone it down. I also recommend watching youtube videos for this step too, because it takes a LOT of practice.
What I can say is Ben Nye Banana Powder is awesome for highlighting, and ELF Dual Contouring Bronzer is excellent for contouring. Make sure your bronzer is MATTE. NO SPARKLE. This is to add dimension, and sculpt your face, not give you a tan. Remember, shimmery products show up weird in photographs. So, limit shimmer to one area of your face, whether it be your cheekbones, eyeshadow, lips, or in my case, my eyelashes. 

Step 7: Say YES to the Lashes
Practice with false lashes so you get comfortable. I buy mine in bulk off Ebay (I have a problem, okay? I admit it.) I get 6 pairs of Red Cherry lashes for 11 bucks shipped. Which comes to less than 2 bucks a pair. I personally wore glitter lashes from Sephora on my wedding day, but I realize that’s not a choice many people would make. The drag queen in my heart was singing that day! Anyways, I love Red Cherry lashes #47, and 747Ms if you’re into more drama. Glue your lashes on after you’ve done your eyeshadow, face, and eyeliner. Then after 2 minutes or so after applying, blend it up with your waterproof mascara.
I used DUO white lash glue because it sticks the best, though NO false eyelashes will last 100% through too many tears. Gently dab at the corners of your eyes with a tissue if you start crying, or your eyelashes WILL lift.
Why not lash extensions? The upkeep is ridiculous. Unless you are committed to getting them filled every 3 weeks, then don’t bother. When they start falling out, you look like you have a disease.
Step 8: Waterproof Your Good Self
Make your make up last through sweat, tears, hugs, and everything else. I spritzed my face with the same stuff I use for doing musicals and plays on stage. Good ol’ Ben Nye Final Seal is my go to to set my make up when I know water is involved. If you buy it on Ebay make sure it says “authentic”, or you may end up SCREWED. Waterproof mascara is a must also. I’m a fan of L’Oreal Telescopic or Volumunous Mascara. If you want a splurge mascara, Lights, Camera, Lashes is for you. Don’t do any of those fiber lash crap. It’ll flake off like a BEAST.

Step 9: Don’t Let Your Lips be Nudey Nude Nakedpants
Never, ever, ever just wear gloss on your wedding day. Try on lipsticks (or lip stains) to see what works best for you. If you’re REALLY against lipstick, there are chubby sticks by companies like Tarte that add color but feel like a yummy chapstick.
I’m a fan of lip tints on days that matter most. I did a lot of kissing on my wedding day, so I just reapplied my MAC Asian Flower lipstick, but for people who hate reapplying every 30 minutes, NYX Soft Matte Lip Creams are the best choice. They’ll feel dried out, but don’t put anything on top of them. The color lasts forever! Shop around. Find something that compliments the overall look you’re going for. If you’re uncomfortable with make up, start out with raspberry toned pinks, (basically a color a couple shades lighter or darker than your natural bare lip color) and then try other shades.

Sunday, October 20, 2013

Confessions of a Body Hater

I am a body-hater. I've always known I was a body hater! I have hated my body for as long as I can remember. It all began in 2nd grade. I was BULLIED beyond all belief in elementary school, to the point that I would beg my mom to be homeschooled, and I would act out in class just so I'd be kept in from recess, so I wouldn't have to play alone. In fact, a very nasty girl (who was bigger than me, mind you) told everyone that I had a mini fridge in my room so that I could eat all night. (Untrue, but alas, I still get asked to this day if it was true.)

I've never been a skinny girl, and I felt like I was second class citizen because of it. Honestly, I think that's the final frontier when it comes to cynicism in the public eye... weight judgement. If everyone is made equal, why are we still criticizing other's religions, race, and WEIGHT?  My dear friend put it this way, "Those who judge and criticize are tearing down other's houses, while they remain homeless." Why does (most of) the media feel it's so important to make us feel "ugly" compared to the airbrushed, photoshopped, women in magazines?  It's unrealistic. If Heavenly Father wanted us to all look alike, sound alike, and be a certain size... we would be that way already.

For me, it has always been my weight, but I know for others it may be that they hate their nose, or their skin color, or their belly, or whatever else you can think of. But, I think this generally applies to everyone with body related insecurities.

I've always gotten, "Oh, you have such a pretty face!" or "You really are gorgeous...!!!" (with the silent, unfinished, for a big girl, at the end.) I always resented that. As I got older, I started taking it to heart. I shied away from boys, school dances, and flattering clothes because I wanted to be "normal", and "normal" to me meant thin.

I started digging into why I placed so much importance on the size of my clothes, or the number on a scale. The value of a person is infinite, and I was valuing the number on a scale, more than the value of my own, true, self-worth. I concluded a few things:

1. Boys are mean. I've heard the saying, "Tell a woman she's beautiful and she'll forget, tell her she's ugly and she'll remember it forever." My confidence always took a nose dive whenever someone I dated treated me badly. When my ex-fiancee cheated, I went into full blown, no-eating, gym-aholic mode. I lost 10 pounds in the first two weeks. As unreasonable as it seems, I felt like no one would want me, and that I wasn't pretty enough to keep someone happy. I don't think the male species understands the power they have over our psyche and self-image.

2. Girls are meaner. We all know this. The suicide rate is up due to bullying not only being in person anymore, but online too. We need to fix this. All women are beautiful. Thin girls, chubby girls, big girls, curvy girls, flat girls, ALL GIRLS, are beautiful. Why tear each other down, when it would be so easy to build each other up? I challenge you, yes you, reading this, to say something kind and compliment a total stranger. One of our fellow women. I told a lady in Wal-Mart (she is plus sized, like myself) that she looked like a ginger Rapunzel, the other day, and her face LIT UP. I had given her a heart felt compliment to boost her self esteem, and it didn't hurt me at all.

3. The example set for us. The media and the generation before ours value thinness. My own mother is absolutely beautiful, but she will never be satisfied with her body. (Even though she has lost a TON of weight in the last few years.) My mom has always told me I'm beautiful, but I also wish she thought that she's beautiful too. Models are models because they're considered "flawless" or "interesting", but I can guarantee you that not all are very confident either. Depending on where you live, cosmetic surgery is abundant. Ask yourself, what is it that makes you hate that part of you? Why are you willing to do to get rid of it? WHY?

4. How are you going to fix your view of yourself? It's a continual process. Some days I feel like a hot, blonde, wife, and sometimes I feel like a homeless sumo wrestler. I help myself by reading body positive blogs, plus size fashion blogs, talk to my friends (who are always more than willing to tell me the good things about myself), or I work out. I work out and eat pretty healthy, but I'm not obsessing over it because then I end up weighing myself 3 times a day and depriving myself of being HAPPY. If I want a cup of ice cream, I'll eat it and try not to feel guilty. It's all about finding a good balance, and picking yourself up when you're down.

I don't hate my body right now, even though it creeps up on me sometimes. I'm still chubby, and I realize it. I even have a sense of humor about it instead of being hyper sensitive about it. I recognize that I need to work out and eat right to be HEALTHY for my future babies, not to be thin and "hot". My husband thinks I'm way hot anyways. All of the misconceptions I've had about worldy "beauty" are gone. Some days my body confidence and body positivity wavers, and my insecurities haunt me. These are the days where I fix myself up, put on a smile, and fake it until I believe it again.

Beauty is found in every person. I'm a photographer, and I've done boudoir shoots (You know, the kind of shoots where you're mostly naked) and every woman I have taken pictures of has complained about "her mom belly" or "her cellulite" or "her freckles" or "her weird butt cheek" (yes, I really have heard that one). I've had them ask to be photoshopped. It really does hit me with a pang of sadness for them. As a photographer, you go over every body part in processing, and I never see what they were talking about. It's also made me realize that even the THINNEST of SKINNY girls has fat rolls when they lean forward. Why? Because fat can be healthy! Belly rolls are normal. Everyone has them. Even Heidi Klum. There is NOTHING shameful about cellulite, having a post-pregnancy belly, stretch marks... and the list goes on.

If you really take the time to look at the women around you (without comparing yourself), you'll see all the quirky, wonderful, unique, things that make every woman special and lovely. Love yourself. Don't be so critical. Focus on the things you think are awesome, and ignore the things that you wish you could change about yourself. APPRECIATE your body for what it is, and stop wishing and hoping for something different. If you want to change it, that's great, go ahead, but regardless of your wishes, make sure to find time to appreciate the body and life you have. Only loving your body when it's "in shape" is like only loving your children when they're being well behaved.

I have an "imperfect" body to some people who look at me, but what I think of myself is what matters. I'm diligently working on being a body-lover. :)

So, if you are a body hater, and you're reading this... this is ME telling YOU that you're perfect. This is me telling you that you are worth feeling good about yourself. This is me telling you to love yourself, because YOU are beautiful!




Sunday, September 29, 2013

Fun (and cheap) Learning Activities to Raise Smart Kids.

I've had a lot of people ask me for really fun, easy learning activities for their toddlers and children since my last blog post. So, I've compiled a list of activities that help your kids think, practice skills, work on fine motor coordination, increase their communication/vocabulary, and express themselves artistically. I don't have many pictures of the activities being done, but I've done all of them. These are the kind of activities even the ADULTS and teenagers will have fun with. All of the things I used can be found at the dollar store or grocery store! I also tried to reuse items in each activity, so that it STAYS a cheap idea. :)

1. Conditioner Playdough
What you'll need: a bowl, newspaper, dollar store conditioner (or shaving cream), corn starch. (Food coloring is optional. And I'd add in aprons if you want to stay clean).

This is a science based activity, we will have another next with corn starch later called "Oobleck". This makes playdough that is super silky, and smells delicious. It does dry out a bit as you play with it though. There's NO COOKING. Which makes this ideal for summer. It's messy so you can do it outside too!

What to do: Mix 1 part conditioner to 2 parts cornstarch in a bowl, add food coloring if you'd like. Mix with your hands. If it's too goopy add more corn starch, if it's too dry add a little more conditioner. You will end up with a handful of playdough that moisturizes your hands, and doesn't have that weird salt play dough residue.


2. Oobleck! 
What you'll need: 1 small container or bowl per child, water, food coloring, corn starch

If you haven't done this already, you're really missing out! This is a great way to teach your child about liquids and solids. When you squeeze the concoction it is solid, but as you relax your hand, it runs like liquid. There is a Dr. Suess book called "Bartholomew and the Oobleck" about a king that makes oobleck fall from the sky. Not only is this a good introduction to Oobleck, but it teaches kids about saying I'm sorry.

What to do: You put 1 part water to 3 parts corn starch in a bowl with a drop of food coloring. If it's too runny, add a bit more cornstarch, if it's too stiff and powdery, add more water.

3. Water Marbles
What you need: A big plastic container, water, water beads (can be found at craft stores)

Most craft stores carry water beads... which look tiny and deceiving at first. BUT, if you put them in a plastic container full of water they expand over night. You can incorporate vocabulary expansion with your young children by talking about what they observe. Use words like, "slippery" or "bouncy". Practice counting the balls, you can even use addition by saying things like, "If I have 10 of these, how many more do I need to make 15?" If you get the clear kind they become invisible in the water, but you can reach in and feel them. They're fun to dump and pour too! Make sure to keep an eye on children under 3 while playing to make sure they aren't eaten.

What to do: Prepare water marbles. PLAY!



4. Box Coloring 
What you need: A big box, crayons or markers.

This is self explanatory. Put your child in a box with washable markers or crayons and let their creativity go. This has been shown to reduce wall coloring because they learn that they can be creative inside the box.

5. Glowing Bath Tub or Pool 
What you need: Dollar store glow sticks, wading pool or bathtub.

This is fun because children usually associate bath time as play time. This gives them a different experience because they get to swim around in the dark and play with their toys in a brightly colored tub. You can also do this in the summer if it's a warm night.

What to do: Break glow sticks, throw them in a pool or bath tub, turn the lights off, let them PLAY!

6. Edible Finger Paints 

What you need: Vanilla pudding mix (prepared), food coloring, cookie sheets, clean up supplies!

This one is particularly fun with babies and toddlers because everything they touch goes in their mouths. This way, they can make a big, artistic, colorful, mess while being able to eat it too. By using a cookie sheet, you are able to control the mess. This also works best if the child is nakie or in their swimsuits. (Something easy to wash.)

What to do: Put a few drops of food coloring into portioned out vanilla pudding, and mix it in.

7. Shaving Cream Alphabet/Spelling/Art
What you need: Shaving cream, table.

This is great for all children. This allows emergent readers to practice writing the alphabet and saying letter names and sounds, but it's a fun way for older kids to practice their spelling lists. (Oh, and it cleans whatever surface you're using.)

What to do: Squirt shaving cream onto table, have your child spread it out (but not TOO thin). Have them use their finger to write letters, words, their name, OR just let them make pictures!

8. Foam Portrait
What you need: very dull pencil, cheap paint roller, paint, paper, foam take out containers

This is SO fun. Make sure you tell your child not to press too hard with the pencil when drawing their designs, or else it'll poke through the take out container. Great way to teach about recycling, make pieces of art, and strengthen fine motor coordination.

What to do: Use the pencil to make a design on your canvas which is the foam take out container. You press just hard enough to make an indentation. When your denting is done, paint over top of the container, but don't press too hard. Press a piece of paper on top and the design will come up onto the paper.


9. Tiny Volcanos

What you need: Eye dropper, food coloring, vinegar, baking soda, cookie sheet, plastic cups (one for each color).

I love this! This incorporates: science (chemistry and the scientific method) communication, and fine motor skills. You can talk to your child about making a prediction about what might happen when you combine the two substances. Talk about why they think it happened.

What to do: Pour 1/4 cup of vinegar into 3-5 plastic cups.  Mix a couple drops of food coloring into each cup to make different colors to use. Make tiny piles of baking soda on the cookie sheet. Use eye dropper to suck up vinegar solution and dibble it on the piles of baking soda.

10. Edible Bread Art
What you need: Light colored bread, milk, plastic cups, eye droppers, food coloring. (Toasting it after is optional) :)

This is an art activity for SNACK TIME. Art can be fun, and tasty. :) Not only is it art based, but you can work on patterns or making shapes with your child. AB patterns with color are always fun. For example: "If I have a yellow, blue, yellow, blue... what do you think will be next?" SO, your child is doing geometry without knowing it.

What to do: Pour 1/8 cup milk into each bowl or plastic cup. Add food coloring to make different colored "paint". Use the eye dropper to make designs on the bread. Toast, top with peanut butter or whatever your heart desires, and EAT.

11. Balloon Tennis
What you need: A balloon, paper plates, glue, tongue depressors/craft sticks

This is for those kids who can't sit still! Plus, exercise gets blood pumping, and endorphins flowing, which equals better thinking and processing. Be careful doing this indoors though, because things can get broken with really competitive kiddos. If you want to incorporate math or letters, have each one count how many times it gets hit before it touches the floor, OR you can try to make it through the ABCs before it touches to floor. Say a letter with each hit. I've also had them spell words as they toss it around.

What to do: Blow up the balloon and tie it off. Glue a single tongue depressor to the bottom of each paper plate (you'll need one paddle for each player). Let the paddles dry. Then play! Toss the balloon in the air, and hit it with the paddles. (I always make back up paddles, because they tend to get ruined quickly.)

13. Experimenting with Soap
What you need: a microwave, Ivory soap (chopped into 1-2 inch bits), another brand (or brands) of soap (chopped into 1-2 inch bits), paper plates.

This is so fun! Once again, this is a science experiment the kids can do with very little parental guidance. Have your kids make predictions about what will happen to each soap as it's put in the microwave. After the experiment discuss why they think one reacted the way it did, and why the other one did not. :)

What to do: Put one piece of soap on a place. Put in the microwave for no more than 20 seconds. The Ivory soap will puff up in a wonderful way! Other soap doesn't react the same way. Try as many different kids of soap as you'd like. I've found that this is a good way to use those little hotel soaps that you don't ever use. After the ivory soap is puffy and a bit cool, the kids can play in it, or play with it outside (as it is kind of messy and crumbly).

14. Bathtub Paint
What you need: paintbrush, food coloring, muffin pan, shaving cream (or whipped cream)

I have found that this makes bath time EXTRA long. Make sure to never leave the child unattended. If your child put it in his or her mouth adjust the recipe to use canned whipped cream. :)

What to do: Squirt a pile of cream in each section of the muffin tin. Add 1-2 drops food coloring, and mix with the paint brush. Let your little one paint the mixture on the inside of the bath tub! :)







Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Things People Need to Know and Understand About Their Children

I get a lot of questions from friends, family members, and total strangers about what to do with their child. Sometimes it catches me off guard, but they usually want to know things after they know that I am a certified encyclopedia on children that are typical and special needs from birth-8 years old. (No really, I have a degree in it.)
 I have had every question from, "How do I get him to stop cussing in church?" to "I can't make her use the toilet, what do I do?" to "I think he can do better at ____." Sometimes the questions are reasonable, but sometimes I want to shake my head. I do not have children of my own yet, but my education and experience has given me a lot of insight into things that are important for people to understand about their school age children and toddlers. This is a super random list that I've put together out of my jumbled thoughts and it doesn't mean children are all the same, but in MOST instances these rules and ideas apply.

1. Avoid "don't" and "no" statements: This is a big one. There is a huge difference between, "Don't tip in your chair!" and "We need to keep the chair legs touching the floor. " One has a negative impact, and one gets the point across. Children are not always able to process "don't" statements. You don't need to go into a huge list, but you can put things positively. In your head, try to restate your statement or request without the word "no" or "don't". This is a lot of the reason why a lot of the time a toddler's favorite word is, "No!"

2. Empathize Instead of Interrogate. Sometimes when a child does something wrong, we jump to the "Why did you do that?!" statement or "What were you thinking?!" Sometimes there isn't a reason as to why a child has a certain reaction to a stimulus. A reaction to stimulus is a BEHAVIOR. Can you explain all of your impulsive reactions and decisions? It's hard to analyze or reason out even as an adult. Try to be more empathetic with your child. Instead of, "Why did you hit your sister?" try "What did Sally do to get you so upset?" or "I know it makes you really mad when Sally takes your toys, but we need to keep our hands to ourselves. What do you think you can do if it happens again?" This way you're talking through your child's feelings and letting them know that you care, without losing your temper.

3. Keep Instructions Simple. There is a basic chain of command when it comes to giving directions. The older the child, the more complex and elaborate instructions you can give at once. A mistake A LOT of parents make is giving their toddlers and small children 3 or more step directions. You can't expect a 3 year old to process, "You need to wash your hands, go put your toys away, and then come throw away your paper cup." Keep it simple. 1 or 2 step directions are appropriate for toddlers up to about 6 years old. Even then, depending on the child, 3 step may be far too complicated. Toddlers are not little adults, and they surely can't process as quickly as you do.

4. Keep Learning and Activities Appropriate. One of my favorite theorists on development is Lev Vygotsky. He developed the theory of the Zone of Proximal Development. (If you haven't read the theories of Vygotsky, Eric Erikson, and Jean Piaget, I encourage you to do so.) Anyways, a part of ZPD is called "scaffolding". If you think of the scaffolding used to work on houses, it is in levels. Scaffolding in learning is building off pre-existing knowledge to make connections to other things, then continuing to build and stem off those ideas. Scholars explain it like this, "Those elements of the task that are initially beyond the learner's capacity, thus permitting him to concentrate upon and complete only those elements that are within his range of competence." Thus, you shouldn't expect your child to know something or complete a task when they have no prior knowledge. We all gain knowledge off what we already know. Activities and assignments given to children and toddlers needs to be: developmentally appropriate, age appropriate, and individually appropriate. Every child learns differently, but children need to feel successful before they are challenged.

5. Keep It Old School. We live in a technological age. I see little kids on their parents cell phones in public and I CRINGE. Why do American children have a short attention span? They're getting obsessed with quick stimulus. Our children are too absorbed in television and computer screens, cell phones, video games, leap pads, iPads, Kindles, and all other sorts of stuff that keep them 100% captivated 100% of the time. I'm not saying it's not okay in limited doses, but our children need to PLAY, and I don't mean on an XBOX. The less high tech a toy or activity is, the more the child has to use their imagination and surroundings to stimulate themselves. Engaging your child in simple, creative, fun, activities WITHOUT using a lot of technology, can make a world of difference. These activities allow kids to make connections, experiment, and problem solve. Have you ever put your toddler in a big, empty, cardboard box with a bunch of crayons? It's amazing what children can do with simple things. Empty spools, a bowl full of water and dish soap= bubble fun on the counter.Your kids can be entertained and out of your hair, no batteries required.

6. Immediate Consequences. To adjust behaviors to get responses that you want as a parent, you have to adjust your system. For example, when I hand out an assessment to my students, I accompany it with a small snack so that they see it as a positive thing. In their heads it goes from, "Oh no! A test?!" to "Oh cool, I get a snack when I get a test." Which makes it less bad to them. If you give immediate rewards and immediately implement consequences for negative actions, behavior responses can be made or broken. Say for example your child throws a tantrum about having to do their homework. Give them one warning, and state the consequence if they continue to tantrum. Then implement the consequence IMMEDIATELY if they continue. Don't hesitate or wait until after you've both started into a battle of wills. If your child gets up, and does their homework, give them a reward (a couple gold fish crackers or fruit snacks does the trick in my classroom) so that they start seeing that positive behavior gets positive outcomes.

7. Give Choices. I've found that most children will run the show if you let them. If you tell them directly what to do, there can sometimes be a great and terrible struggle. Giving choices is the BEST way to get what YOU want. The trick is to make both options, something you want from the child. By giving the choice, the child feels like they are still making the final decision and feel in control. For example, "Do you want to use the green crayon or the yellow crayon?" or "Do you want to feed the dog or do you want to help me do dishes?" The child gets to feel a sense of independence and empowerment, without you giving up power.

8. Avoid the "Little Adult" View. Children are children. The do not think the same way you and I do after years of life and learning. The children do not react, understand, or process the same way we do. Kids don't need to get their hair colored, their nails done, and they shouldn't be left to make big decisions by themselves. Their brains are still developing in many ways until they are 21 years old! You also do not have to explain to them the things you would when conversing with an adult. If I child asks, "Can I have some juice?" You could say, "You can have water or milk." BUT, in the "little adult" context, you would explain, "You've had enough sugar for today, so you don't need any more juice until tomorrow." Your child doesn't understand that juice is sugar, so why elaborate on it and leave them confused? For goodness sakes, let them be little! I blame a lot of this little adult view on the media and Disney channel and Nickelodean shows. Elementary aged students shouldn't be worrying about what color their hair is, how much they weigh, or if they have a boyfriend or girlfriend... they should be playing! So PLEASE, don't view your school aged child as a tiny adult or tiny teenager, because they are NOT.

9. Time Out is GOOD. As toddlers grow, they begin learning how to "self-regulate". What is self-regulation? It has to do with our emotions. It is the extrinsic and intrinsic (outside and inside) processes responsible for monitoring, evaluating, and modifying how they react emotionally. By giving a child a SHORT (4-10 minute) "time out" they have time to cool down, think through their feelings, and modify how they are reacting. Time out doesn't need to be viewed as negative (in fact they may battle you if you yell at them that they need to have a time out.) I suggest having a visual timer in a quiet area, so your child knows just how much time they need to be there. My favorite is a time-out bottle I used with my 2nd graders. I filled an empty Smart Water bottle with tons of glitter, a touch of food coloring, clear tacky glue, and water, and when a student went to the "time out" desk they shook it as hard as they could (getting the aggression out) and then watched it until everything had settled. When the glitter settled they could rejoin the class or activity. If your child is tantruming, and in no danger, feel free to let them cry/scream it out. It all builds up their ability to self regulate, recognize their emotions, and figure out how to deal with them. Time out doesn't need to be a negative consequence for a negative behavior or action, it can be a valuable tool to help your child develop important coping skills.

10. Keep it REAL WORLD and APPLICABLE. My wise preschool mentor teacher once said, "If you can't bring it to the student, or take the student to it, it shouldn't be taught in preschool." Basically, she's trying to say concepts that a child can't experience or touch with their hands are too abstract for typical 2-5 year olds to understand and grasp. For example, you wouldn't need to teach preschool children about Antartica, because you can't bring it to them, and you can't take them there to experience it.  I'm going to modify this and say for older kids, "Show how everything you do can be applied to the real world." Everything we do in school should be training kids for the real world, relating things to the real world can help them develop meaningful connections. For example, instead of just learning to count money with your child, take them to the store and have them count out their money to buy something.



Tuesday, September 3, 2013

What's up with pigment eyeshadow?

So, what's the difference between loose pigments and pressed eyeshadows (Pressed eyeshadows as in: Naked palette, most eyeshadow palettes in fact...)? Loose pigments are easier (in my opinion) to work with when you want to blend your eyeshadow out. Pressed shadows seem to work better for the older generation because loose pigments can have some fall out if not applied correctly, and can settle into fine lines. My own mother hates using pigments because they're "too hard to work with". BUT, if you use a good eye primer (I prefer Too Faced Shadow Insurance and Urban Decay Primer Potion), tap off excess pigment back into the container, and build your color or coverage,  they work perfectly. I personally prefer working with mineral pigments than pressed shadows, but especially when it comes to MATTE eyeshadows, that can get hard to use over time as it cakes. People sometimes use their fingers with their pressed eyeshadows! DON'T DO IT! Not only do you give up control of your eyeshadow shaping and blending, you put bacteria into your eyeshadows. YUCKY. 

In fact, this is my "pigment drawer". Yes, there are a few other eyeshadows in it, but for the most part it's over 100 single sample or deluxe sample eyeshadows. A lot of independent brands offer generous samples for 1.00-1.50 so you can try them out before you commit to a full size eyeshadow. 

Anyways, I figured I'd share with you some of my favorite pigment BRANDS. 

Pretty Zombie Cosmentics
If you LOVE using bright colors, matte colors, and aren't afraid to get creative with your make up, PZC is for you. They have a killer pro-matte line that I'm in love with. I swatched a couple of them below for you to look at! They are completely matte, and completely gorgeous to work with. You can check out their loose pigment collection here: http://www.prettyzombiecosmetics.com/category/loose-eyeshadow 

These colors are (from bottom to top): Pink Spiderweb, Sea Witch, and Hocus Potion. 


Dark Heart Designs
Dark Heart Designs is an independent company I've been sampling for a LONG time now. I have yet to find a product I didn't like. The owner is quick to fill orders, and very kind. She personalizes orders and even includes a list of ingredients. (This counts when working with indy companies.) She has a good color variety, but not many "neutral" colors yet. DHD has a Steampunk collection coming out soon that is full of rusty/brown-ish neutral goodness! Sometimes the store is being restocked so certain colors may be out of stock, but always check back. You can check out Tina's shop here: http://darkheartdesigns.storenvy.com. Some of my favorite eyeshadow shades include the following 3 swatches.

These colors are: Storybook, Siren's Song, and Gilded Girl. 

Pretty Addictions
Pretty Addictions was the first company I really got into a few years ago. There are a zillion colors to choose from, and the pigments are super, SUPER, smooth... like butta'!!! I really do love all of these colors. Kassie is the owner, and she's quick and efficient at getting the orders out. I tend to buy my neutral colored pigments from this company. They have a huge variety and they're SUPER affordable. 
Check out pretty addictions here: http://www.prettyaddictions.com

Here are a few of my neutrals: (Bottom to top) Foggy hollow, Dirty Girl, and Buried Treasure! 

Monday, July 15, 2013

Things I've Learned Wedding Planning

I'm Mormon, so naturally my wedding is an LDS wedding too! I'm making this list, (which I'm sure will grow within the next few days) in the hopes of helping another little nervous Latter Day Saint bride like myself.

1. Give Yourself TIME: 
My engagement has been almost 4 months long. This has given me time to get everything done. I have friends who've rushed the process and ended up frazzled and/or unhappy about the result. Keep your relationship PG rated and your long engagement won't be an issue. Personally, I believe that if you can't control your "urges" or "passions" for a few more months maybe you should rethink WHY you're getting married. Give yourself an appropriate amount of time to get your actual wedding and reception ready, but also give yourself time to prepare physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually for everything you're going to be going through.
Don't think you can get it done? This website helped me a TON. They have a budget excel spreadsheet, and a wedding checklist. http://www.weddinglds.com/design-a-custom-lds-wedding-planning-notebook/lds-wedding-planning-checklist/three-month-lds-wedding-planning-checklist


2. Photographer= INVEST. 
You will NEVER look back at your wedding pictures and think, "Jeez, why did I spend so much on photography? I didn't need this many pictures." You can't put a price tag on memories. Do your research and find a photographer that meets your budget and needs. As a photographer, my advice is: Cheap work isn't good, and good work isn't cheap. Make sure you see samples of their work, and make sure there isn't any hidden fees. Some photographers make you go through them for prints, DON'T FALL FOR IT. Get a photographer that gives you the copyrights, and a disk or flashdrive of pictures to use as you will. Make sure you book your photographer as soon as you can if it's a summer/fall wedding. Photographers fill up quickly during this season.

3. Say Yes to the Dress... FAST. 
My dress was expensive (by frugal LDS standards) by the time all was said and done. I wanted sleeves put on it that weren't little cap sleeves, and it had to have a few normal alterations, so I got it done. Doing these little things to my dress personalized it. No one else has my dress, and it's completely my taste, and I feel 100% comfortable in it. Also, don't wait when it comes to getting your dress or getting it altered. If you don't purchase the sample dress you try on it can take 3-6 months to get the dress in in your size. Ask the store about alterations, because there's a 99% chance that your dress will need alterations whether it be hemming, sleeve changes, back fills (to make it modest) etc. If your weight fluctuates, I recommend a corset back... Mine was a zipper back, and it stressed me out knowing that I needed to stay under a certain weight for it to still zip. Avoid the stress, and get a corset back, or try on a zip up back every week to make sure it still fits.

4. Set 2 Temple Dates
I can't imagine having done my endowments/sealing in one day. Enough said. Do yourself a favor and do your endowments a few days in advance so that you can more fully focus on each special day and soak it all up separately.

5. You Only Get Married Once
As a Mormon, you're (probably) only going to get married once. Make it count. Make your wedding and reception personalized. Make things your own! If you want to do the traditional route, that's great, but I recommend making it unique. For example, our boutonnieres are made from shotgun shells, and we had a set of scriptures as our guest book. I know you're going to freak out about spending money, but if you invest it correctly you'll have a super awesome day. My parents and inlaws have been REALLY financially supportive when it comes to wedding expenses, but we have all used the money "smartly". We didn't waste money on stupid stuff like expensive reception favors... so be aware that there are little "money traps". With the same token, there are things that WILL cost money. You WILL have to pay for some expensive stuff, but like I said before, good things aren't the cheap things.

6. Get Those Invites Out
Invitations need to be addressed and out of your house about a month ahead of time. Start making a master list (I made mine in excel) of all of your addresses as soon as you can. A mistake I know a lot of my friends have made is not taking in the fact that photographers take a couple weeks to process photos before they give them to you. Make sure you include details like that into your timeline. The sooner you book your photography sessions, the smoother sailing will be when it comes to announcements.

7. PINTEREST ISN'T REALITY
Unless you have an unlimited budget you're probably not going to have that wedding you pinned to your pinterest board. Learn to be happy with a real set of expectations. Use pinterest as inspiration, but don't copy it exactly. Your ring probably won't be that rose gold vintage one with a 2 karat pink diamond... and you're probably not going to have enormous centerpieces with thousands of dollars of peonies. Don't let it all get you down, but remember to keep reality in mind. There's no shame in dreaming big, but you shouldn't have any "Oh I wish I had..." moments on your big day.

8. Plan Ahead
Remember the details.

9. App it Up! 
There are so many excellent phone and ipod apps out there (some that are free as can be) that have made my life 100 times easier. Technology is amazing. My two favorite wedding planning apps have definitely been: Wunderlist and WedPics. Wunderlist is free, and if you and your sweetie both have it on your phone you can make all sorts of checklists that you can both see and check off as you accomplish things. This has been a lifesaver for my little forgetful almost-hubby and myself. WedPics lets the people who download the app send all the pictures to one place for you to post and be able to print. It's almost like a wedding profile. Everyone's phones can be connected through your wedding profile, so when they're snapping away at the wedding and reception on their phones, they can save them to the profile. It also has filters like Instagram to make them look a bit more interesting and polished. Like I said earlier, there is no such thing as "too many pictures."

10. Remember Your Manners
Thank You notes are NOT optional. As soon as the gifts and generous acts get rolling in, get the thank you's out so you don't forget. When opening cards, keep the envelopes so you have the return address. Remember to appoint someone to keep a list while you're opening gifts so you know who gave you what when you're writing the thank you cards later. Don't leave anyone out! Make sure you load up on stamps.